All England games will be moved to the gay adult channel next week as screening of eleven arseholes being hammered for 90 minutes is considered too explicit for ITV.
I hear Oxo are making a new product, the packaging is white with a red cross and they're calling it the laughing stock
The England football team are going to change the emblem on their shirts. The Three Lions will now become three tampons to celebrate their worst period in history
NEWS FLASH________ Tidal wave heading for ENGLAND as 3 million SCOTS piss themselves laughing
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? - Tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup Final? - Referee
NEWS FLASH________ England have just hired a new coach? A 30-seater to the airport
Jokes thread
Re: Jokes thread
This got sent to me on facebook but I had to post it on here
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Understeer: when you hit the wall with the front of the car.
Oversteer: when you hit the wall with the back of the car.
Horsepower: how fast you hit the wall.
Torque: how far you take the wall with you.
Oversteer: when you hit the wall with the back of the car.
Horsepower: how fast you hit the wall.
Torque: how far you take the wall with you.
Re: Jokes thread
No point in posting the advert but someone is selling this for £600
Not funny until you read the MOT advisories
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- MOT.jpg (27.48 KiB) Viewed 2512 times
Understeer: when you hit the wall with the front of the car.
Oversteer: when you hit the wall with the back of the car.
Horsepower: how fast you hit the wall.
Torque: how far you take the wall with you.
Oversteer: when you hit the wall with the back of the car.
Horsepower: how fast you hit the wall.
Torque: how far you take the wall with you.
Re: Jokes thread
I don't see the problem....
- Attachments
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- Tyre pressures made simple
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Some people are like Slinkies - they serve no useful purpose, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them downstairs.
Re: Jokes thread
Tim Vine's best joke yet. "I have just sold my vacuum cleaner........well it was only gathering dust!" Brilliant.
Re: Jokes thread
How do you confuse an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from
Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from
Strive for perfection in everything you do
Re: Jokes thread
Ron380;4670867 on lxforum wrote:Top 10 Reasons Motorcycles Are Better Than Women
Your motorcycle doesn’t care if you look at other motorcycles.
Your parents don’t stay in touch with your old motorcycles.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Your motorcycle never wants a night out with other motorcycles.
Motorcycles don’t make fun of you if you’re a lousy rider.
If your motorcycle smokes you can do something about it.
It’s always OK to use tie-downs on your motorcycle.
Your motorcycle doesn’t care what time you come home.
Your motorcycle doesn’t care how many other motorcycles you’ve ridden.
Motorcycles don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
I'm Diabetic,& disabled BUT!! NOT DEAD YET!!