Liquid Knight on PPC Mag Forum wrote:
That's an interesting Tax disc holder...
Jokes thread
Re: Jokes thread
I'm Diabetic,& disabled BUT!! NOT DEAD YET!!
Re: Jokes thread
A bloke in the pub tried to sell me a satnav. I told him to get lost.
Re: Jokes thread
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies.
Is that a trick question?
Is that a trick question?
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
Re: Jokes thread
I was in the park today when a woman came up to me and said, "Are you taking photos of my daughter on your iPhone?"
"Yes I'm taking photos of her," I replied, "But it's not what you think."
"So what is it then?" she asked.
I said, "A Samsung Galaxy."
"Yes I'm taking photos of her," I replied, "But it's not what you think."
"So what is it then?" she asked.
I said, "A Samsung Galaxy."
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
Re: Jokes thread
What's the biggest difference between men and women?
What they mean, when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."
What they mean, when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
Re: Jokes thread
No Wind or Rain forecast for tomorrow.
The Met Office have advised everyone to make unnecessary journeys!!
The Met Office have advised everyone to make unnecessary journeys!!
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
Re: Jokes thread
I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.......I will keep you posted!!
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
Re: Jokes thread
At the end of a tiny deserted bar in Liverpool sat a scouser.
He was having a few beers, when a short, well dressed, and obviously
gay man walked in and sat beside him.
After three or four beers, the gay man got the courage to say a few
words to the Scouser.
Leaning over towards him, he whispered, "Do you want a blow job?"
At this, the Scouser leaped up with fire in his eyes, and smacked the
**** out of the gay man, knocking him swiftly off his stool. He
proceeded to beat him all the way out of the bar, leaving him bruised
and battered in the car park, and then returned to his seat at the bar.
Amazed, the barman quickly brought over another beer to the Scouser,
and said, "I've never seen you react like that. What did he say to you?"
"I don't know," the Scouser replied. "Something about a job."
He was having a few beers, when a short, well dressed, and obviously
gay man walked in and sat beside him.
After three or four beers, the gay man got the courage to say a few
words to the Scouser.
Leaning over towards him, he whispered, "Do you want a blow job?"
At this, the Scouser leaped up with fire in his eyes, and smacked the
**** out of the gay man, knocking him swiftly off his stool. He
proceeded to beat him all the way out of the bar, leaving him bruised
and battered in the car park, and then returned to his seat at the bar.
Amazed, the barman quickly brought over another beer to the Scouser,
and said, "I've never seen you react like that. What did he say to you?"
"I don't know," the Scouser replied. "Something about a job."
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
Re: Jokes thread
The Pope was arguing with an Atheist about the existence of God and failing to get his point across. They had been arguing for two hours and finally the Pope in frustration sat down.
"Listen," said the Pope, "You are like a man in a dark room, with no lights and windows, wearing a blindfold looking for a black cat that isn't there. What do you say to that?"
The Atheist thought for a moment.
"Yes your Holiness, you are probably right," he said, "but you are also like a man in a dark room, with no lights and windows, wearing a blindfold looking for a black cat that isn't there. The only difference is, you have found the cat."
"Listen," said the Pope, "You are like a man in a dark room, with no lights and windows, wearing a blindfold looking for a black cat that isn't there. What do you say to that?"
The Atheist thought for a moment.
"Yes your Holiness, you are probably right," he said, "but you are also like a man in a dark room, with no lights and windows, wearing a blindfold looking for a black cat that isn't there. The only difference is, you have found the cat."
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
Re: Jokes thread
Why call yourself a lollipop lady if you're going to get all hysterical when someone licks you?
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.