Jokes thread

Got something to say, but it's not classic related? Here's the place to discuss. Also includes the once ever-so-popular word association thread... (although we've had to start from scratch with it - sorry!)
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Minxy
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Re: Jokes thread

#381 Post by Minxy »

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Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
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Minxy
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Re: Jokes thread

#382 Post by Minxy »

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
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Minxy
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Location: West Northamptonshire

Re: Jokes thread

#383 Post by Minxy »

As I parked my car outside the House of Commons, a traffic warden came up to me and said, "You can't park here! Judges, Ministers and Members of Parliament use this road"
"It's ok," I said, "I've got an alarm and a crook lock."
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
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Minxy
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Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: West Northamptonshire

Re: Jokes thread

#384 Post by Minxy »

A woman walked into a library and asked for a book on euphemisms. So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it...........
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
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Minxy
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Location: West Northamptonshire

Re: Jokes thread

#385 Post by Minxy »

Aliens?

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Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
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Minxy
Posts: 547
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: West Northamptonshire

Re: Jokes thread

#386 Post by Minxy »

If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there'd be no problems.
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
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Minxy
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Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: West Northamptonshire

Re: Jokes thread

#387 Post by Minxy »

I saw a woman reading 50 Shades of Grey on the train today.

"At least you don't have to lick your fingers to turn the pages" I said with a smile,

"You disgust me" she screamed and stormed off down the carriage.

Are all Kindle readers so highly strung?
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
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Minxy
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Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: West Northamptonshire

Re: Jokes thread

#388 Post by Minxy »

My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn't help but admire it.

"Nice car," I said as he got out.

"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."
Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
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Minxy
Posts: 547
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: West Northamptonshire

Re: Jokes thread

#389 Post by Minxy »

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Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock all the pieces over, S*#t on the board and then strut around pretending it won.
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Mitsuru
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Re: Jokes thread

#390 Post by Mitsuru »

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I'm Diabetic,& disabled BUT!! NOT DEAD YET!!
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