...Because I discovered - the hard way - that the new daily box-shaped van has, at some point in its previous life with owner number one in that Japan, had a severe chocoholic sitting in the seat immediately behind my driving perch. No, no, I haven't trained a fish to chauffeur me around, I meant the ickle tall van's elevated front seat. So there I was, upholstery cleaning product in hand (that very cheap, Halfords' own brand stuff in the fluorescent green bottle really is as good as the internet reviews say ), admiring the sparkly way that the tiny charabanc's trim was responding to that product when it came to my notice that the seat in question, when wiped after leaving the Halfords' for its recommended half a minute, was leaving some brown stains on the drying cloth where the rest of the seats came up clean after two wipes at most.
Naturally, I had to taste the brown stains to establish what this substance was (no, of course I didn't, what do you take me for ..) and fortunately, the tastes of chocolate and bum crack sweat were present but there was no evidence of anything less innocent so, frustrated, I gave up cleaning stuff and came indoors to eat, drink and do a few yards of balancing practice on my trusty exercise bike.
So, seats are now dry after I left the windows all open a little, choccie stains no longer come out when I rub over the seat surface, but my fear is that the evil stuff is still embedded somewhere in the trim, just waiting to catch out someone who occasionally wears white jeans and has a particularly penetrative brand of superhuman laydee sweat. Hmm,
Seriously? OK; does anyone know how best to extract unstable chocolate waste from within the weave of that seat's base cushion please?
Do I have to unzip the cover and shove it in the washing machine on a synthetics program at 40C in the hope that this is enough to remove residual chocolate? Then what do I do if, on removing the cover, I find that the foam has absorbed chocolate too?
Do I give £30 to the most excellent local Eastern European valeting chaps with instructions that they should use chemicals to get the thing right?
Do I hunt down and execute whichever of the p/o's relatives was responsible for the sweeties-related atrocity?
Do I send €180 to a very nice man in Tokyo and have him send me an unchocolated, as-new base cover for the affected chair?
Recommendations would be good, pictures of your own backside after you've sat in a pool of molten chocolate would be less so, just saying..
chocolat partout dans mon cul
chocolat partout dans mon cul
J
"Home is where you park it", so the saying goes. That may yet come true..
"Home is where you park it", so the saying goes. That may yet come true..
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- Location: Essex
Re: chocolat partout dans mon cul
wrong wrong wrong
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