read the ad...
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Mx5buya ... 348635828/
& for those who don't do facebook
I have to share this brilliantly written advert!
If you read it you will end today with a smile, Guaranteed!!!
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Welcome to this auction for my scrap-heap of a Mazda MX5.
I bought this car in August last year for a bit of fun and to help me out while my other scrap pile was being repaired.
It was cheap at the time, but 3 weeks of full throttle action and 2 near-side rear wheels put a stop to that.
On the way up north one evening, the head gasket decided he'd had enough and had a word with my wallet. They conspired to ruin my journey and took a 4 week all-expenses paid trip to the 'not-so' local mechanics to have a break and nice freshen up. Whilst in this motoring paradise, the water pump, cam belt and a load of other gaskety type parts also got involved in the family themed fun. 2 massively overpriced train tickets later, I'm back to collect the silver surfer.
Wunderbar! I've got my pocket rocket back. After a week of running her back in, she starts showing she's not a morning person. Turns out the battery had heard what had gone off between the gasket and my wallet whilst on their break. Heart broken, she went on a power binge for the entire 4 weeks.
Obviously not having had any go-juice since the months worth of pointless work, the power junkie went into recession and needed a jump everytime you wanted her to get moving. After 2 weeks of this B-S, the wallet finally manned-up and a new, pokey teenager of a battery was found who loved doing everything whenever you needed him to.
Booty-ful. Everythings getting along nicely, lets carry on this 30 year relationship happily.........
Over the entirety of this process, a sub-plot had emerged.
It seems the oil pressure gauge on the dash decided it wanted to look like it had slowly stopped working, only to act as a decoy whilst all the engine oil made a run for it. After 5-6 weeks of tunneling through multiple gaskets and working around blind plastic gaurds, the hydrualic lifters finally sounded the alarm. A trip to the hospital-le'halfords was arranged and oil with a new plot killing additive was added.
Alas, it was too late. The escaping oil had started a revolution in the lower ranks. Fury ensued and a riot broke out.
When I say riot, I mean con-rod. And the out was through the side of the block. In spectacular fashion of course.
One dead Mazda.
So, the car will require a new engine, but does still have 5 months of MOT left. Just enough time to buy it, trailer it home, drop in a new engine and get the top down for the summer.
'Awesome, I can have an MX5 that's registered as a 1.6 with a 1.8 engine in it that looks awesome in the summer!' Not so fast buddy-boy.
The previous owner had replaced the front bumper and seems to of given it a halfords magi-can special. Pretty sure he thought he'd made a mint job, so had a crack at the bonnet to.
The lacquer on the near-side front wing saw this and opted out of getting involved, so hop-footed it.
Whilst in his power-booze rage, the battery also battered the side of the wing. Bloody typical.
The latest near-side rear wheel also decided it wanted to get involved in all the action going off and got into a quick fling with a high kerb. Luckily one of his younger 14" year old brothers stepped up his game and re-joined the gang.
In conclusion, this is a project car for the more advanced car-guy or a bit of a head-ache for the average car-breaker.
It will need trailer-ing away. It's currently in a nicely placed lay-by I found on it's final journey, so if you'd like to pay to watch me burn it, please feel free to start bidding now!
Cash on collection is fine, or paypal, it all goes in the same place anyway. Just no cheques. They belong in the museum like the people still using them.
Any questions, send them through and I'll see if I can be bothered to answer them.
Cheers for wasting your precious time!