Practically Classics Forum

I've just booked a one way flight to Syria.

I'm not joining IS. I'm going to walk back and get a free house...

A young artist exhibits his work for the first time, and a well known art critic is in attendance.

The critic says to the young artist, "Would you like my opinion on your work?"

"Yes" says the artist.

"It's worthless" says the critic

The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."....

So a colleague of mine started to read the exorcist. He got part way through the book and decided it was evil - very evil and he could read no more so he took it and threw it off the end of Brighton pier. Today I went out and purchased an identical copy, ran it under the tap and put it in his desk d...

I've just been asked the time by a British Gas Repair Man.
I said It's between 8am and 5pm

Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and then another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven, Sir. Teacher: No, listen carefully... If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven, Sir. Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave ...

The fact that there's a Highway to Hell but only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

According to a recent survey, 1 in 4 hills are steep.

A group of Hell's Angels were riding north on the A1 when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge over the road, so they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of onlookers, past the policeman who was trying to talk her down off the railin...

Husband's text To wife: Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays. Severe blow to my head wound required 19 stitches with a possible fractured skull. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in ...

I woke up in hospital after a serious car accident. This rather nice-looking nurse came over to me; "You may not feel anything from the waist down", she said. So I fondled her boobs.